In these ‘difficult and uncertain times’, we are all in need of a little light-heartedness to guide us along this rocky, unstable path. So, with oodles of unjustified confidence and strictly unclassified “key worker” status, your favourite director and manager of Chicken Corner is here to provide you with a little glowing candle to grip onto through our seemly weed-infested tunnel of darkness which is, COVID-19.
To be truthful, nothing much has changed in Chicken Corner and its safe to say the psychology and behaviour of these significant orchard members has not been affected (AT ALL). To start with, implementation of the 2-metre social distancing rule hasn’t had much success, and since lockdown was announced last Tuesday, these outrageous birds are still leaving their homes everyday and ALL day! I mean of course I would understand if they did so for the recommended 15 minutes (obviously maintaining safe distancing unless with members of their own chicken household) but the scenes I have witnessed take the biscuit! I’ve seen them out for hours, and they even venture into the cattle barns. Honestly, the potential for cross-contamination and the extortionate levels of integration at this ‘strange period’ is unfathomable.
And oh.. oh no I shouldn’t divulge, but I will anyway. For those of you with a weak disposition look away now because general hygiene has gone out of the window for these unbelievable creatures... for they all drink from the same water troughs! It pains me to see it.. for as a harsh contrast, meanwhile in the farmhouse, I can’t even have a refill in my own mug without the hamster-printed ceramic being shepherded straight into the dishwasher for deep cleansing..
Let’s move on from this life-absorbing subject, as it thankfully hasn’t dragged my feathered friends in yet. Right now Chicken Corner is experiencing hierarchical anarchy. Caused by one little opportunist, Giles, the arrogant Pekin cockerel. He has found a literal ‘loop whole’ in the system in the form of jumping over the fence, to taste the sweetness of freedom and metallic favour of Brahma blood. He's recently taken to bullying the big Brahma cockerel who is quadruple his size. “Why not pick on something his own size!?”..I hear your curious minds inquire. (Well, Big Brahma is the only other cockerel on the farm) but thank you, that’s a very poignant question and the answer is rather ironic. Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start [Copyright: The Sound Of Music].
Previously, Big Brahma had picked on a similarly sized bird, Caesar (the late Buff Orpington cockerel). He became blind in his right eye after a savage meet-up, thus reducing his sight considerably. Now living with permanent anxiety, not knowing where the next attack may come from (as a hint, I’d say look down), the irony of this large bird being terrorise by Giles really does come full circle. It would seem that Giles has taken position at the top of the hierarchy.
But the race is still on, as Gwen, the Jurassic Guinea Fowl has taken exception to Giles’ freedom and his unforgivable actions towards Big Brahma. (N.B. Quickly, yes we do now have a guinea fowl named Gwen). The sex of this usual-looking creature has never been confirmed and her recent aggression towards said Pekin has made me question whether we should re-christen her ‘Glen’. However, for the purposes of my anti-patriarchal tale, Gwen will remain female.
A striking head with a fierce helmet projecting a-top, red wattles contrasting a white and blue face, and feathers like iron spikes, she lowers her weapon ready for battle. With wings spread wide and up to enhance her size, she eyes her target: Giles (obviously). What follows are a series of high-speed chases around the farm, until the Pekin is left head first, cowering in a crevice. She represents female defiance and resistance to the male-dominated world she once found herself born into, and like her Amazonian ancestors, she will proudly sit in her throne overseeing a vast Chicken Corner empire.
Meanwhile, to save Giles from himself (unsurprisingly, he doesn’t know what’s best for him) GJH Rainey assisted me in the blocking of Giles’ ‘loop whole’, adding another panel to his enclosure. This was a marvellous opportunity to start weaving my willow hedge.. but until tomorrow ;)
Stay safe, chicks x
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