Its been a hectic week here at Chicken Corner, as my new business plan is midway through fruition! This all came about having read an article in the Farmers’ Weekly, recommended to me, I might add, by my Father, who thought it would be a ‘good read’, which it was, I might also add. The two-page spread focused on young farmers who had either begun their agricultural empire with chickens, or were going into them as a stable yet profitable commerce. I mulled over the information, debating why Alan, for example, claimed to only have 10 chickens and yet be making a success of it. He must have breeding pairs I concluded.
Of course Chicken Corner could never use such a strategy, as I dislike the concept of pairs, i.e. one cockerel and one hen. This is because, when it comes to those long months of reproduction, that one hen takes a supreme battering and understandably, isn’t a happy hen. Rather than advocating polygamy, this argument is more in support of ‘spreading the load’ whereby more hens to one cockerel ensures no single hen is targeted on a too frequent basis by her male counterpart. I’ve even heard on the grape-vine that 12 hens to a cockerel is ideal, however, Chicken Corner has never strayed into these depths as I just don’t think its worth it if you have multiple breeds.
Anyway – would you like to hear the business plan? Trick question yet also one of those that your teacher makes when your late for your class .. whats it called again .. ah yes.. rhetorical! (I’m going to tell you anyway)
Thought I might start with a screenshot image of the email titled ‘New Chicken Corner Proposal’ I sent to my Assistant Director at Chicken Corner, Olivia ..
.. at the time she was on holiday, not particularly in the business mind-set that I was, and so as you can imagine, this email was greeted with confusion and panic. To be more precise in fact “Oh god this is very stressful, can we discuss this at home?”.. Ladies and Gents, here you have witnessed the tragic symptoms suffered by millions of Brits that travel abroad each year – Too much holidaying – in essence, their brains turn to mosh through too much sun and poolside beat exposure... truly devastating. Scientists have been carrying out tests for decades and revealed this positive correlation, for as soon as those sufferers were re-admitted into the UK climate and were rehabilitated into a quotidian routine, they recovered almost instantly. Olivia was no anomaly, and with a little help and guidance from yours truly – my master plan was underway!
It began with 11 cockerels finding new homes, well one home with a man who regularly takes our members and allows them to live in his (rather large) garden, I’m guessing. Then, only this morning came some rather sad goodbyes to 3 Araucana hens, a trio of Light Sussex and the last remaining quartet of Gold Silkies, as they were boxed up to go to Market. The prices fetched weren’t great but that’s business! Not everyday is your day. But that leaves around 30 members making up Chicken Corner at the moment, and 4 Bed & Breakfast (and lunch and tea) residents, in the form of Large Brahmas owned by Izzi. They have moved into the Silkies’ old run, having previously been hanging out in Monty’s Stable for a week. I think they appreciate their new surroundings and friendly neighbours, the Buff Orpingtons and various mothers and chicks..
It seems as though my plans to reduce numbers are going to take longer than expected – stay tuned for further updates!
Bye chicks x
Written: 21st July 2018
