Its a 'novel' life

Such wonder and amusement occupied my senses these past few days, I can barely contain myself! (can you tell I’ve been reading Mary Shelley.. Frankenstein to be exact?!) – I’ve been following my Cousin Lucy’s A-Level syllabus - soon I’ll be conducting a comparison with Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, but before we get down and dirty in the realms of book club analysis, I have a point to make.

You may be wondering what all this talk of Shelley’s ‘Modern Day Prometheus’ and A-Level syllabuses have to do with Chicken Corner? Well, that is difficult to define, but hear me out - it does and I’m about to enlighten you as to why.

Over recent months, I have come to the discerning conclusion that, both the plot and descriptive language of any book I read, have a profound influence on my perception of Chicken Corner. It will seem even more poignant therefore, and perhaps a little easier to digest as I round-up this month with a critical analysis of the genteel, yet emotional tale of The Hen Who Dreamed She Could Fly by Sun-Mi Hwang.

The book follows the journey of Sprout, an ex-battery hen, who refuses to lay another egg.. she dreams of freedom and raising a baby of her own. When she finally hatches an egg belonging to the late Straggler, the Mallard duck, all Sprout’s dreams come true. Yet her problems have only just begun: facing rejection from the barnyard, she fends off an ominous stoat on multiple occasions and has to come to terms with her inability to swim, nor fly. Sprout learns the hard way it seems, but as we enter the last phase of her fight for survival and she comes face-to-face with the stoat – we understand she is the “luckiest hen” (the animals talk, by the way – I believe this if for maximum emotional affect!)

Beyond this touching interlude however, I have a few bones to pick and please be aware, I will be using direct quotations from the mouths of waterfowl..

“A chicken hatching a duck! What a ridiculous sight!”

.. umm, I suppose yes, undeniably it’s a strange concept, but speaking from experience, a very effective method. Back in the days when Chicken Corner’s breed specification included Black Cochins (basically giant Pekins), I placed call duck eggs under my most favourite Cochin hen and she hatched a high proportion! The exact figure, I wouldn’t like to say for fear of providing the incorrect data. Nevertheless, as a group they developed into relatively “normal” ducks and thus support the leader of the ducks’ statement in Hwang’s novel -

“Our kind never forget how to swim or dive”.

Now this is all well and good, apart from one single fact, in The Hen Who Dreamed She Could Fly there is only one duckling, not a whole group of siblings influencing each other’s behavioural habits. In addition to the previous statement, the leader goes on (in my humble opinion) to shoot himself in the foot (metaphorically speaking – not literally – we’d be heading into George Orwell territory if that started happening, no no.. even when Sprout is eventually eaten by the stoat, she turns into a beautiful feather – it’s a PG) .. anyway lets not get distracted, where was I? ah yes, the leader goes on to say,

“[the duckling] knows how to do [‘natural’ duck behaviours] without being taught”

.. well I have evidence to suggest otherwise. You’ve all met Drake, or for those who have recently joined the readership, the farm’s male call duck who believes he is a chicken and prefers the company of chickens to the detriment of his little call duck friend, (a single tear).

Drake was the only duckling to hatch out of a batch of eggs Olivia purchased some years ago, and yes, with a little encouragement from waterfowl friends and forceful segregation from other chickens, he has indeed started to “swim” and “dive” .. but there will never be any baby-Drakes, for he genuinely loves hens too much.

So, NO, Leader of the ducks from the book! I do not agree with your statement – please revise immediately!

N.B. Apologies for the irrelevant photography – these will be replaced in due course.

Bye chicks x

Written: 29th March 2019

An Easter Extravaganza

It was wonderful to return to the farm after a two-week period of separation. (Not a deliberate test of stoicism I might add, but admittedly, it was very nice to see the gang again).

Several changes had occurred in my absence. Among them included three hens going broody in various places around the farm: a Light Sussex under the holly bush outside the backdoor; the apricot Pekin under some aesthetically pleasing shrubs (off-side of the cars); and the mottled Pekin, under the ivy-hidden gate post in the Atcost Barn at the far-end of the yard.

Ok, I’m going to let you in on a little secret, I was previously aware of the Pekins’ circumstances, so nothing’s new there. The Light Sussex on the other hand, was very much BREAKING NEWS! To top it all off, she was incubating unfertile eggs (there is no Light Sussex cockerel on the farm) .. so when she came off the nest to eat and drink, I wriggled through the prickles and switched her eggs for some others (with a higher probability of fertility including a mixture of Orpingtons, Brahmas and Pekins).

In actual fact, this re-appearance confirmed her ‘alive’ status. When I had initially arrived back and surveyed Chicken Corner, there were only three Sussex hens, compared to the five I had left two weeks earlier. As you can imagine, I was suddenly struck with a mixture of confusion and horror. What had happened to two hens?! The situation was critical. An investigation had officially begun.

I asked around various members of the family; ensuring I remained composed throughout the interrogations. It proved effective as I managed to tease a confession out of GJH Rainey (each party shouting their replies from opposite ends of Chicken Corner). He revealed that one hen, presumably the older ‘retired’ one, (but I was non-the-wiser at this point) had been discovered dead in the orchard. Although I had no body to identify, I took the stance that I had solved one side of this case, but the search for the missing 1 year old was far from over.

A day went by, searching high and low. Finally, I received a tip-off from an unknown source. Come to think of it, perhaps I was channelling ‘Inception’ at this point – maybe this idea had been planted in my brain to make me think I had thought it (as I really can’t think who the mystery person was).. anyway I suddenly thought of looking under the holly bush. Hey Presto! I found a hen in the foliage. Yet, to ensure it was indeed the missing hen, I waited until the next day when I heard Olivia shout “is this the hen?” .. she was off the nest. I counted a total of four hens. Case officially closed!

In other exciting news, the incubator is (as we speak) welcoming the second batch of chicks into the world of Chicken Corner. Although it pains me to say that I am not there to greet them, they are in the combined-capable hands of Olivia and GJH.. having learnt from previous errors (please see March’s post ‘Technicalities of Incubation’ for the full breakdown) I took precautionary measures to ensure their safe passage from egg to incubator.

Over Easter, I was also busy preparing their first-few-weeks-of-life accommodation. The old bike shed to be precise (never actually used for storing bikes; its heart, like my own, always belonged to chickens).

Now, it might seem easy to prepare a shed for chicks: all you need is newspaper, wood shavings and a heat source. But have you totally forgotten about the first batch of 30 chicks currently residing there?! How naïve you are!

The next stage of planning took problem solving and a table-spoon full of patience. Re-assessing their living situation, I realised their only options were the stables, of which there are three. Sadly, each are burdened with their own immense limitations.

Stable 1). Belongs to Monty the Pony. He may require its use should it start raining.

Stables 2 & 3). Semi-detached living quarters, full of STUFF! But, alas, my only hope.

I took it upon myself to de-clutter 50% of one stable. I came across a whole manner of things, from dried paint pots to old art projects, from rags to tents as well as IzziRainey shelves (quite useful actually, hence why I didn’t throw these away! I may never have lived to recount this epic tale in writing if I had!)

Finally, hours later, my mission was complete; adding the bedding, appropriate security measures and heat source. The chicks moved in the next day and I held Tiva in my arms, repeating “these are my chicks, Tiva”. Just to ensure she got the point. No feline friends will be visiting these little chicks at night.

Well, what an adventure we’ve been on! There’s far more where that came from as I’ll be tracking the progress of these little ones over the coming weeks, so watch this space.

Until next time, chicks x

Written: 23rd April 2019

Technicalities of Incubation

I have been keeping you all on your toes this month; most likely questioning when your life would be graced with another update from Chicken Corner? (I bet!)

In that case, I won’t leave you hanging on any longer. But just as a side note and in my defence, BREAKING NEWS swept the Corner this morning and I knew you would not want to miss out! A number of chicks started their epic journey into the world of 2019 today.. and it was evidently even a surprise for me as I had not made adequate amendments to the incubator in preparation for their big ‘crack and release’. Not only did the first hatchers have to undergo the exhausting process of fighting their way through tough shells, but completed this mission whilst having restricted movement to roll, peck and kick because of several metal bars that tightly suspended their exterior shells in mid-air (a technique used to aid incubation, but always abandoned before hatching begins).

Sadly as a result of confusion and ever-so-slight disorganisation by management, these chicks found their heads and legs wedged in less-than-ideal positions amongst the apparatus. I would however, like to make yet another small but very significant side note: no members of Chicken Corner were harmed during the event, if anything, it was an exercise in character-building! Kelly Clarkson style – ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’.. that’s the kind of vibe we are channelling here.

Getting back to the nitty-gritty and something everyone can relate to: Mother’s Day. So here’s a photograph making that link loud and clear, featuring my Mother with a few newbies. Words from Sally-Ann when asked to have a photo with the chicks quickly changed from ‘ohhh do I have to?’ to extreme excitement, exclaiming ‘they are so light! I can’t believe there are little hearts beating inside them’.. and there we have it kids. Chicken Corner really can transform perspectives.

There is so much more to discuss, from late winter chicken sales and resulting profit margins, to logistics like enclosure space and medical advances.. but why rush? We’ve got time, and plus I’ll need more content for future. Can’t be using it all up in one!

Bye chicks x

Written: 31st March 2019